Saturday, January 15, 2011
What Do You Want?
Wow... Its been a long time since I've written, I don't even know where to begin. Tonight I'm just going to focus on what God has been doing in my life the past few days. I literally feel as if He has turned my life upside down. I realize that I have just been living in some fantasy world, trying to become my own idea of a good Christian woman. I have been so used to getting fed the Word of God and always living inside my comfort zone that I have just become what a friend of mine calls " fat & happy ". I think that I am close to God and that i'm doing just fine in my walk with Him, when in all reality I am just a wretched sinner saved by God's grace. I am nothing without Him. I think as Christians we get into this mindset that nothing bad should ever happen to us, and that death and suffering should just pass us by. Why? THAT'S LIFE!!! That is reality! People are hurting and suffering and dying and going to hell! How can we walk around and talk about hair and cars and football?! Even when I thought I was being "spiritual" I was so far from it! I feel like God is just saying to me "Autumn, everything you thought this life was about.....its not. You're missing it! I am so much bigger than all of this.....you are so small and I have such big plans for you! Open your eyes!" I feel as if He has just wiped my slate clean and everything that I was living for yesterday doesn't even matter anymore. I'm starting to wonder was I just fooling myself? What have I been spending all my time on?! My life is not my own! It's His! I find myself just asking tonight..... God what do You want from me? Teach me what this is all really about...help me not to shy away from reality just because i'm not comfortable with it. Take me as clay, and start me over. Mold me into what You intended me to be all along.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
hmmm autumn sound like you are going through quite a bit in this chapter of your life.
ReplyDeletehold on the Lord will sustain you.
Know that life is full for christians.... complicated and wonderful there is so much to it. (yes all you mentioned and also things like I tim 6:17 the last phrase will blow you away... or well it did me)
you can take a tohmas edison approach and say things more like "i have...discover yet another thing of which life is not about." those times are learning they are good
often times where we are at those turing points where we are seeing that maybe we've been missing it we are filled with a sence of we've been failing, we've been missing it, or we've been letting God down
when in fact... well the first is probably true often. (and there is certainly a time for brokeness) but the second- God opens our eyes so we dont have to miss it any longer! how great! and we've havent let God down, we weren't holding Him up and we're just experience Him letting us in on a little more, A little clearer picture.
check out heb 12 i love verse 5-7 the times we're we feel the spirit chastening us or redefining us we tend to want to crumble under the weigth of our failure, in stead let us rejoice in the confrimation of out status as a Child! REJOICE!
God loves you so much He's redefining you. He loves you so much He's letting you know Him better. He's loving you so much He streching and modling you!
Great news! Great day!
Thank you so much Josiah!!! That is so encouraging! God is definitely redefining me lately. I have been a little discouraged these past few days and just lost my focus....so this was a big help. Thank you for your wisdom and the encouragement that I'm not the only one who has ever experienced this haha I definitely have been feeling like ive let Him down....but you are so right. I was never holding Him up. Man, what a great God we serve. Thanks brother for the encouragement and the scripture references. I will be praying for you today and this journey that God has you on. Stay encouraged! Stay faithful! :) Phil. 2 & Romans 8
ReplyDelete